It’s hard to be from Arkansas without knowing few things by heart you’d rather not know. Like the lyrics to “I Got Friends in Low Places” or “Achey Brakey heart”. Or about a millllllion Jeff “You might be a Redneck” Foxworthy Jokes. You know the jokes. They all pretty much sound like “if the directions to get to your house include turn off the paved road…You might be a redneck.”
Well, tonight as I was digging out the grease and grime from my rear cassette, getting ready for the Tour of Elk Grove Crit tomorrow, I kept thinking about how I was a pretty typical cyclist, but a somewhat atypical girl. And, thanks to Mr. Foxworthy, my self-reflection (and I love me some me so I’m REALLY good at self reflection) came out sounding like those jokes.
SO in honor of the REALLY SUPER FUN Spidermonkey Girl’s Ride, and girls/women/ladies who ride bike wherever, I give you Lil V’s selection of You might belong on the Spidermonkey Girl’s Ride Jokes:

If there’s a reason you don’t get manicures,
and it’s called GREASE…
You might belong on the Spidermonkey Girls’ Ride.
If cleaning your bike,
comes before cleaning your house…
You MIGHT belong on the Spidermonkey Girls’ Ride.
If you are WAY more interested in the Brothers Schleck…
Than the Brothers Jonas….
You probably belong on the Spidermonkey Girls’ Ride.
AND if your FAVORITE go to outfit looks less like this:
You DEFINITELY belong on the Spidermonkey Girls’ Ride!
Go LADIES, racing or not, and see you Tuesday morning at 5:30 a.m.